week ten

This week I thought a lot about Professor Coyne’s Music lecture, and it really hit me how music influences everything that I do. I listen to music when I’m getting changed, when I’m showering, when I’m eating, when I’m doing homework, when I’m walking to class. Obviously, I turn it off when I’m in class or when I’m talking to someone but for the most part I am listening to music. 

Dr. Coyne mentioned in class that music has the biggest effect on emotion, and she’s so right. For me, I feel like music is a balm or a therapy that helps my brain calm down and realize that everything is going to be alright. I love music.

Dr. Coyne also talked about Ashleigh Cox, a girl who was killed in an avalanche. The song that Dr. Coyne assigns to her is Soldier, by Gavin Degraw. Not going to lie, I definitely started crying when Dr. Coyne put that song on for the second time, because it had so much more meaning and even though Ashleigh died years ago, it felt like I knew a little bit about her because of her song.

This got me thinking, what is my song? I know what melodies I like, I know what genres I like, I know what makes me happy or sad or angry or numb or excited. But what song is about me? 

After some searching through my many playlists, I came up with a song that I love, and that I think is a part of me, and a part of my identity. But before I tell you about it, I want to talk about a soul. To me, a soul is your identity, your personality, your spirit rolled into one. In the Lord of the Rings, Sauron puts his soul, which was evil beyond belief, into the Ring of Power. In Harry Potter, Voldemort splits his soul into seven horcruxes to ensure immortality. Your soul is who you intrinsically are. If your soul is who you are, what would your soul song be? What collection of notes, rhythms, and lyrics would describe you? 

I chose the song Six, by Sleeping at Last for my soul song.

I originally found this song during a very dark time of my life, when every day was full of tears and anger. This song is about a person who is struggling to realize their worth in this world, but concludes that they need to let go of their fears and trust that they are a good person, that they are trying, and that they can live life every day. It gives this imagery of wanting so bad to be okay, to be happy and to let go of your fears, but genuinely not knowing how to. It says-

What would it feel like?

To put this baggage down?

If I'm being honest

I'm not sure I'd know how

I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight

Somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed

I really really relate to these lines. I desperately want to be able to help people and do good in this world but sometimes it's so hard. 

I also love how this song is not a typical song, it doesn’t have a chorus or a bridge or even verses, instead it’s a long poem put to music and melody, and it works amazingly.