inner thoughts

I got married last week! It was the happiest day of my life, by far. I love my new husband (IT’S SO EXCITING THAT I CAN SAY THAT NOW IT’S C R A Z Y) so much and I have been enjoying every day with him, and it's  kind of insane how I now get to live with my best friend! Plus he’s an amazing cook and he’s hilarious and he likes the Mandalorian and we are just on vibe mode at all times. It’s incredible.  Marriage: 11/10 recommend it.   That being said, I wanted to comment on the media at my wedding, and how it played a part in the whole affair. I think I’ve established this by now in my previous blog posts, but music is very important to me. It’s so dumb but it really, really is. I love it a lot. For that reason, my wedding song has always been something that I have debated on, my wedding song choices have varied for my whole life. Also, the first dance with my new husband is such a romantic concept to me as well, it’s the part of the reception that I looked forward to the m...

This week I thought a lot about Professor Coyne’s Music lecture, and it really hit me how music influences everything that I do. I listen to music when I’m getting changed, when I’m showering, when I’m eating, when I’m doing homework, when I’m walking to class. Obviously, I turn it off when I’m in class or when I’m talking to someone but for the most part I am listening to music.  Dr. Coyne mentioned in class that music has the biggest effect on emotion, and she’s so right. For me, I feel like music is a balm or a therapy that helps my brain calm down and realize that everything is going to be alright. I love music. Dr. Coyne also talked about Ashleigh Cox, a girl who was killed in an avalanche. The song that Dr. Coyne assigns to her is Soldier, by Gavin Degraw. Not going to lie, I definitely started crying when Dr. Coyne put that song on for the second time, because it had so much more meaning and even though Ashleigh died years ago, it felt like I knew a little bit about her beca...

  This week I had a little party with my relatives, and media played a big part in it. On Friday night, I watched the Secret of Moonacre and the Hannah Montana Movie! Friday night was an unofficial bachelorette party that consisted of my little sisters (I have three), my little cousins (I have six), and my aunty and my mum. Basically, we just got together and prepared the water bottles for the reception, did our nails, and tinted our eyelashes all while talking about marriage and grade school and everything in between. We watch the Secret of Moonacre, which was way trippy and I’m going to be real, I did not really enjoy it. I think the reason why I loved it so much as a kid is because I was able to believe in the fantasy and it was easier to suspend disbelief. However, now it just seems ridiculous and very badly acted to me. It was strange that such an important movie to me has turned into something that I do not understand or enjoy. Has that ever happened to you? Has a childhood m...

This week was c r a z y!!! I moved into my parents house again because everyone I knew was suddenly testing positive, and I have an endowment + sealing appointment that is coming up fast. Therefore, I’m in Logan, Utah instead of Provo. And I left my fiancé in Provo. It’s all very tragic, of course lol But for reals, do you guys have a person that it hurts to be away from? He’s been in quarantine all this week, and I’ve been chilling in logan, so we haven’t physically been in each other’s presence for so so long (read: literally only four days but this h u r t s). I can’t explain it properly, or in a way that sounds altogether rational. He’s just so amazing, and I miss him always. I miss holding his hand and laughing at dumb tik toks with him, and I miss his hugs and how cute he is, and everything just sucks, you know?  But hey, lucky for media! We’ve facetimed every day and talked about everything over text and calls with each other. It’s so comforting to know that even though I am...