inner thoughts

  So, this week was a rollercoaster.   I’m supposed to be getting married in 3 weeks and endowed in exactly two weeks, but my roommate was just diagnosed with COVID and my fiancé is showing significant symptoms. Don’t worry, we are getting tested tomorrow. However, that leaves everything up in the air a little bit, and it’s a little bit terrifying. To top it all off, me and my fiancé have to quarantine away from each other, and we might not be able to have a reception at all, which is pretty wild. I never imagined not having a first dance at my wedding, you know? But it’s also been a good week! I got a lot of midterms done, and I read two whole books and I did get to hang out with my fiancé a lot before the whole COVID business! So, this week has been a rollercoaster Something that has always managed to help me calm down is music. Dr Coyne talked about this in her music lecture, but music is a major emotion regulator for me, I rely on it constantly. There is something peaceful...

This week I watched the Hunger Games. I love the hunger games series so much, they came out as I was in high school and I absolutely fell in love with the idea of revolution and standing up to those who are evil. The Hunger Games kind of started the obsession with the dystopian genre that is so popular today. But, to me, HG did it in the best way. The first movie is heartbreaking. Katniss goes into the games fully believing she will die but also knowing that she will fight to the bitter end. She experiences terrors in there that no 16 yr old should ever have to experience. She is forced to kill other children for the pleasure of the Capitol, who treat this bloodbath as some sort of reality TV show. It’s so, so sad. There’s a scene that always sends chills down my spine, it’s when Haymitch is watching a small Capitol child get a play sword for a gift. The kid immediately chases his sister and tries to stab her with the sword, as their parents laugh and clap. Haymitch quickly looks away...

  This week I watched a scary movie called Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. According to my roommates, it was not a scary movie. Instead, it was a slightly funny comedy with a predictable ending. The girl and the guy got together, a few people died/disappeared, and the conclusion was not final, so all in all it was a predictable plot with an unfantastic end. But I was terrified.  I think it’s because of the imagery, but also because one of the characters that goes missing is a boy that looks so much like my little brother, Jeshua. Jeshua and I have been buddies and best friends ever since he was born when I was 6. He’s just the sweetest boy, and I love him so much. I haven’t been able to see him for a while, because my family moved to Logan, Utah, and I don’t have a car I can use. He has really curly hair that kinda goes everywhere, and he’s so cool. The boy in the movie also cracked a lot of jokes like Jeshua, and his hair was really curly. Right before his disappearance to...

  This week was hard, it was so busy and so packed with so many details that I still don’t know if I’ve done everything I should have. You know what I mean? I feel like I make list after to-do list that I need to follow, but I always feel like my lists are incomplete, like I’m always missing something.  It makes it so easy for insecurities to creep in, like a little voice whispering "you aren't good enough, you can't do this" Have you guys ever felt like that? I wanted to talk about folklore again, Taylor Swift’s most recent album, but specifically the 15 th   song, peace.   This song is beautiful, I truly love it so much. It talks about a girl that is just settling down into what her role in this life will be, but she still is worried about how she will never give the person that she loves peace. I think Taylor is trying to talk about how her status as a celebrity, an incredibly popular and sometimes hated celebrity, will never allow her lover to have peace. She tal...