inner thoughts

The effect of media on you is crazy. And startling.   I tried to watch Extraction this week, which is a Chris Hemsworth action film on Netflix. It’s about a bounty hunter of sorts that is sent to extract an Indian drug lord’s son from the hands of a Bangladeshi drug lord. So far, pretty basic storyline, nothing surprising there. Hemsworth’s character is clearly depressed, but that’s the only kind of sad thing that has happened so far.   Then, Hemsworth gets to Bangladesh and absolutely obliterates a room full of bad guys. But I don’t think you understand what I mean by obliterates. The imagery was incredibly graphic, some guy got blasted right in the face with a bullet and blood + brains went everywhere, another man had a rake pushed right into his throat, and someone else was impaled completely on a spear. It was shocking to say the least, and I only peeked through my fingers every now and then. Hemsworth gets to the kid, who needs to be rescued, and gets him out of his bonds...

I got married last week! It was the happiest day of my life, by far. I love my new husband (IT’S SO EXCITING THAT I CAN SAY THAT NOW IT’S C R A Z Y) so much and I have been enjoying every day with him, and it's  kind of insane how I now get to live with my best friend! Plus he’s an amazing cook and he’s hilarious and he likes the Mandalorian and we are just on vibe mode at all times. It’s incredible.  Marriage: 11/10 recommend it.   That being said, I wanted to comment on the media at my wedding, and how it played a part in the whole affair. I think I’ve established this by now in my previous blog posts, but music is very important to me. It’s so dumb but it really, really is. I love it a lot. For that reason, my wedding song has always been something that I have debated on, my wedding song choices have varied for my whole life. Also, the first dance with my new husband is such a romantic concept to me as well, it’s the part of the reception that I looked forward to the m...

This week I thought a lot about Professor Coyne’s Music lecture, and it really hit me how music influences everything that I do. I listen to music when I’m getting changed, when I’m showering, when I’m eating, when I’m doing homework, when I’m walking to class. Obviously, I turn it off when I’m in class or when I’m talking to someone but for the most part I am listening to music.  Dr. Coyne mentioned in class that music has the biggest effect on emotion, and she’s so right. For me, I feel like music is a balm or a therapy that helps my brain calm down and realize that everything is going to be alright. I love music. Dr. Coyne also talked about Ashleigh Cox, a girl who was killed in an avalanche. The song that Dr. Coyne assigns to her is Soldier, by Gavin Degraw. Not going to lie, I definitely started crying when Dr. Coyne put that song on for the second time, because it had so much more meaning and even though Ashleigh died years ago, it felt like I knew a little bit about her beca...

  This week I had a little party with my relatives, and media played a big part in it. On Friday night, I watched the Secret of Moonacre and the Hannah Montana Movie! Friday night was an unofficial bachelorette party that consisted of my little sisters (I have three), my little cousins (I have six), and my aunty and my mum. Basically, we just got together and prepared the water bottles for the reception, did our nails, and tinted our eyelashes all while talking about marriage and grade school and everything in between. We watch the Secret of Moonacre, which was way trippy and I’m going to be real, I did not really enjoy it. I think the reason why I loved it so much as a kid is because I was able to believe in the fantasy and it was easier to suspend disbelief. However, now it just seems ridiculous and very badly acted to me. It was strange that such an important movie to me has turned into something that I do not understand or enjoy. Has that ever happened to you? Has a childhood m...

This week was c r a z y!!! I moved into my parents house again because everyone I knew was suddenly testing positive, and I have an endowment + sealing appointment that is coming up fast. Therefore, I’m in Logan, Utah instead of Provo. And I left my fiancé in Provo. It’s all very tragic, of course lol But for reals, do you guys have a person that it hurts to be away from? He’s been in quarantine all this week, and I’ve been chilling in logan, so we haven’t physically been in each other’s presence for so so long (read: literally only four days but this h u r t s). I can’t explain it properly, or in a way that sounds altogether rational. He’s just so amazing, and I miss him always. I miss holding his hand and laughing at dumb tik toks with him, and I miss his hugs and how cute he is, and everything just sucks, you know?  But hey, lucky for media! We’ve facetimed every day and talked about everything over text and calls with each other. It’s so comforting to know that even though I am...

  So, this week was a rollercoaster.   I’m supposed to be getting married in 3 weeks and endowed in exactly two weeks, but my roommate was just diagnosed with COVID and my fiancé is showing significant symptoms. Don’t worry, we are getting tested tomorrow. However, that leaves everything up in the air a little bit, and it’s a little bit terrifying. To top it all off, me and my fiancé have to quarantine away from each other, and we might not be able to have a reception at all, which is pretty wild. I never imagined not having a first dance at my wedding, you know? But it’s also been a good week! I got a lot of midterms done, and I read two whole books and I did get to hang out with my fiancé a lot before the whole COVID business! So, this week has been a rollercoaster Something that has always managed to help me calm down is music. Dr Coyne talked about this in her music lecture, but music is a major emotion regulator for me, I rely on it constantly. There is something peaceful...